As E’s first birthday is fast approaching (T minus 5 days) I’ve found myself reminiscing about the past year and appreciating a lot of things that I haven’t even really thought about before.
The first being just how much she really has changed. I know every parent says this and it is very true, but sometimes you take it for granted unless you think about it. Less than 12 months ago none of E’s movements were on purpose, now she can crawl over to me and tap my chest when she wants boobies; knows what words mean – if I ask “where’s daddy?” she looks for him; she knows what “no” means, even if she doesn’t pay attention; she can pull herself up on the sofa and cruise; she’s started trying to feed herself with her spoon… I could go on and on, but it’s truly, truly amazing when you really think about it.
I’ve spent a lot of this first year questioning what I’m doing but when I look at this beautiful, inquisitive little girl, I think I’m doing alright! She’s doing so well and she’s such a confident baby, she’s my proudest achievement.
One of the things I’m really starting to appreciate, that I honestly didn’t do enough of in the early days, is when she falls asleep on me. Now, I’d happily stay like that all day. It’s such a reminder that she isn’t going to be this small forever and soon I’m going to have to battle for a cuddle from her. I know she’ll always need her mummy, but when I become ‘mum’ and she becomes a dreaded teenager, I might actually miss the cuddles in the middle of the night. I definitely won’t miss waking up 5+ times a night though!
It’s also amazing to see her bond with her daddy grow. Yes, she’s a mummy’s girl when she’s in a mood, but she loves seeing daddy walk through the door, she loves playing with him and she’s even started reaching out her arms and shouting “dad!”. It absolutely melts my heart. They’re such a pair when they’re together and I can’t wait to see that relationship develop over the years. I can see me being singled out and those two being as thick as thieves.
E is so confident. I could do with taking a leaf out of her book. She’ll happily nosey around a room and forget I’m even there. She’s brilliant at nursery and loves spending time with other people. I’m hoping it’s due to how my husband and I are choosing to bring her up, knowing that we will always be there!
I love to watch her play independently. I start to feel guilty that I’m not always playing with her but she’s so content I don’t want to disturb. It makes a nice change from her wanting to be permanently attached to my hip or boob.
What I’m saying is: I know it’s hard, I really do, but every now and then, one little moment reminds you how worth it it all is.
…although she’s currently biting my nipple as I write this, which is not fun.