A Letter to My Husband…

I’d just like to say that I’m not usually one for being soppy. Yes, I’ll tell people I love my husband, but I’m much more comfortable with a sarcastic comment as opposed to a full-blown display of love. However, after these last 13 months, I think my husband deserves to know everything, and I’m much better at writing it out than verbally telling him. So, here it goes…

Dear J,

It feels very strange writing this knowing that there’s a good chance you will be sat in the room with me when you read it, but I need you to know that I truly mean every word of this letter.

You are bloody fantastic. You really are. I know you worry that you don’t do enough because you see me struggling with the sleep deprivation and wish you could take some of the burden, but trust me you do. If I had to be sleep deprived, work full time, take care of E and do the housework I think I would be loop-de-loop. You don’t fully appreciate all the little jobs you do, but I do.

I know that you lose slightly more sleep now that E is in our bed, but I’m so thankful that you let us co-sleep. It’s saved me. It really has. The thought of getting up and sitting alone in E’s bedroom nursing her back to sleep for countless hours is unbearably daunting; so, thank you for that. Yes, the loss of sleep is taking its toll on me, but having you and you keeping me sane has definitely saved us a few times. Not that I ever thought we would split up or anything, but I know that there have been some hard times since E was born, probably harder than we ever thought possible.

I’m so sorry when I go off on one. I know that might sound ridiculous, but I don’t ever mean it. It really is just I’m so tired that I take it out on you. It’s never your fault that I’m tired, and you do enough.

You seriously underestimate yourself! You do so much for all of us, but you’re always doubting that you do. Trust me, I wouldn’t have gotten through those first few months without you!

Thank you for agreeing on how we should raise E. I know it’s hard on both of us (mainly the lack of sleep) but the support you give on our decisions makes me feel like we’re doing something right.

Thank you for being house proud. I’m too tired. So thanks for preventing us from living in squalor (well, not really but yeah).

You’re my biggest fan. I don’t know if I could’ve done this if you weren’t such a fantastic support. In all honest, I really need to start listening to you more (don’t come at me with this all the time now)! I need to listen when you say I should have a lie in, I need to listen when you tell me to get a bath & I need to listen when you tell me I’m doing a good job! Thank you for being so supportive; I know people reading this probably think “well, he’s your husband, he should be supportive” but we all know it isn’t always the case! So, thank you.

I also want to say thank you for being calm when my mental health hasn’t been at its best. I know you’ve been very worried over the course of E’s life about how I’m coping and feeling. I’ll be honest, it’s not been good a lot of the time, but I knew with your help I could get out of it. Which, for the most part, I have. I’m much happier and in a much better place than I was 12 months ago. I really appreciate E now and everything we do as a family, when it was really hard for me to in those first few months in particular. You’ve got me through it and I’m forever grateful for that.

I’m going to sign off now, as your head is probably growing by the second… but just know that you’re a truly wonderful husband & the best daddy ever.

We love you so much.

All my love,

H

Xxx

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